


Look, the prick has a heart.

by ScribblyTrickster



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: A small bit of crack, Author (Me) is involved, F/M, Gen, Original Characters - Freeform, Swearing, mostly canon, uh, written for a friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-04-17
Packaged: 2018-01-19 17:36:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1478248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScribblyTrickster/pseuds/ScribblyTrickster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kol Mikaelson decides to take you out on a very special date to a fancy restaurant, he decides that you need a new dress and so sends you off with Hayley and your best friend-Ireland to get one, and that alone is an adventure but as the limo ride proves very eventful, (imagine how you wish) you find that the dinner turns out to be just as surprising and entertaining.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eventful Mornings

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for a friend from Belgium, Helena but please do feel free to read it, you'll need to change the name from 'Helena' to whatever your name is and let me know what you think. I really need feedback..  
> (And an editor) 
> 
> If you are able to edit for me, send me a tweet?  
> (@AmIASittyThing)
> 
> But that's all, first time writing anything TVDish and this is according to the TV series, so please, let me know?
> 
> I might also go on with it but my muse for this has disappeared, if I find it again, I'll go on with it.

“Helenaaa. Darhling,” Kol’s voice sings through your sleepy haze, he sat beside you as your eyes flutter open to see the original pressing his lips to your forehead. 

“..Mm... Kol? Morning...” You slide up to a sitting position and look over at him with a questionable gaze. “What’s the time anyway..?” Kol shrugs and rolls himself off the bed, his jacket flapping out behind him as he leaves the bed cold.

“Something late morning… or rather. Anyway, you, have a date.” He points at you and snaps his fingers, a cheekily little grin on his face but then he motions to the door with a scowl. “But first I think someone wants to see you, try not to get him angry alright? I don’t really feel like prying my brother’s… fingers from around your throat this morning.” You go to grumble at him before you’re able to; he flashes another sly grin before he’s gone. 

You slowly make your way out of bed, rubbing your eyes, combing your light brown hair with your fingers, slipping on a jumper, the windows were white, which probably meant Kol had decided to paint the windows white again or it was snowing. 

Down the staircase, you see Klaus, Elijah and guess what, your favourite friend, Ireland sitting in Elijah’s lap as she reads the book he is, their heads moving in union as Elijah lazily flips to one page to the next. Elijah’s eyes travelled to you silently, a small twitch of his lips coming from him as his eyes fix to you, Klaus’ eyes is soon to follow, then lastly Ireland’. Ireland’s head darts to Elijah as she gives him a questioning look, to which he nods and she smirks before returning to the book with a small muttered good morning.

“Helena. Good.” Klaus places his book on his seat before trailing off with you down the corridor, his hand gripping your forearm rather roughly but you didn’t protest, Klaus’ anger was much like Kol’s and you didn’t exactly feel like dying at the moment, Klaus’ eyes squint slightly, he takes a deep breath before letting go of your arm. “I apparently... have been stuck with the task of taking you out to the tailor for some dress, why Kol didn’t ask Ireland to do it, surprises me.” 

“Ireland wouldn’t go out for a dress.” You roll your eyes, he growls at you warningly before he ran his hand through his hair.  
“Rebekah is god knows where, so she can’t… so you’re stuck with me... for dress making... why?” You give him a smile, patting his shoulder sympathetically, Klaus grumbles in reply as you return to the living room where Elijah was wrapping a shivering Ireland up in blankets.  
“Weak!” You taunt, sitting beside the book that Klaus was reading, looking through it, it must have been Esther’s book of spells, it had the immortal spell they used to turn themselves into originals.

“You try living in Australia the moving to a country that snows.” She snaps, Elijah giving her a disapproving glance, making her shut her mouth and look back down at the book the pair were reading.

Time goes by, reading the spell book, silence before Ireland gets up from her seat in Elijah’s lap to the seat next to you, resting her cheek on her hand.

“So, a visit to the tailor with Klaus, hey?” She winks with a snarky smirk on her features, “Fun, fun, if you know what I mean, winkwinkwonkwonk.” She giggles; you raise your leg and kick her roughly off the seat. “ABUSE. HELENA. ABUSE. THIS IS AN ABUSIVE REALATIONSHIP. ELIJAH KILL.” Elijah arches is brow up at her antics before Klaus comes and rolls his eyes before you.  
“That’s not abuse; do you want me to show you what abuse is?” He takes her joking manner way too serious and Elijah puts his book down on his lap with a loud thump which Klaus understands perfectly. “Now, apparently it would upset my brother… and it may seem to upset Helena too, so no lesson for you today.” 

“Talk about a fucking sense of-“ 

“Ireland.” Elijah cuts her off, you can’t help but grin at Ireland’s scowl, watching the whole situation, it normally ended up with Klaus threatening to kill her, it was a weird relationship between Niklaus and Ireland, your relationships were more simple, you and Kol were dating, Ireland and Elijah was engaged, Klaus had moved along from Hayley and Hayley had been taking care of her wolf tribe.  
But you and Kol, that’s what it was about, he would often take you out a few times every fortnight but if Klaus was in charge of getting you to the tailor to have a dress made, it was normally serious, nervous bubbles of anticipation popped up, only to be interrupted by Hayley’s entrance.

“I hear we’re having a party down at the tailor’s.” She announces, Ireland had slid back into Elijah’s lap to quickly catch up on the book they were reading, “And Klaus isn’t allowed to come.” She states, you give her a surprised look, everyone does actually.

“You’re…taking me to the tailors..?” You question the werewolf, she replies with a sharp nod of her head. “…Why?” She shrugs, twirling some keys in her hand before darting out the door.

“LET’S GO HELENA.” She calls from outside as you hear the roar of the car starting up, the roar turning into a small purr. You sigh and put the book down, tapping Ireland on the head as you leave, her newly cut hair flicking Elijah in the face as she shakes your tap off. You exit the house and you see what Hayley is in, Klaus’ sport car, your eyes widen before running over and slipping in, growling at the grinning werewolf next to you.

“He’s going to kill you!” You mutter, looking down your lap.

“HAYLEY!” Niklaus’ voice rages from inside the house as he starts to storm out.

“DRIVE.” You grin back at the angry hybrid; you can almost hear Ireland’s laughter from the living room, the tires of the car squealing against the road.


	2. Tail the Tailor and eat her heart out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't literally eat her heart out..

The tailor had pricked your thigh for the last time, giving her a disapproving grunt as she pinned the silky purple fabric in place, she was human or at least she was meant to be. After what seemed to be hours, she finally took the fabric from your body and places it on the wooden desk with the sewing machine, she gives Hayley a nod before starting up the machine, her foot gently tapping against the peddle below the table.

"Awesome. Who's hungry? I am, I think Ireland said that she'd meet us up at the café down two... blocks from here?" Hayley's expression turns unsure, making a turn for the oak-wood door, the bell chiming on your way out. "Indian, spicy, spicy." She grins devilishly, starting up the car again; you join her in the front seat, the car roaring, settling down into a gentle purr again. 

Hayley pulls the black car up into the parking lot behind the cafe, seeing Ireland standing patiently on her phone out the front of the cafe, Elijah had talked about turning her into a vampire just like Kol had talked about turning you with a blood-line but his argument was he didn't want to put you at risk by doing so, one day you thought, he'll do it one day.

You and Hayley join Ireland at the cafe front, walking inside and snagging the backseats at the windows, from the windows you can see the ocean, hear it and even smell it, you can see all the happy faces of all the people there. A friendly woman comes up to your table and hands a menu out to each one of you. "Let me know when you're ready to order." She smiles before moving along to another table, you scan quickly through the menu, deciding on a simple sandwich, Ireland announces that she'll just stick with a salad and Hayley mutters something about a hamburger. Hayley calls the waitress back to the table and she takes your orders. 

A lot of things were discussed at that lunch, but mainly what was going to happen between you and Kol tonight, Ireland suggested it would end in a hard-core fucking session against the wall but Hayley disagreed and suggested it was probably just a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant. 

"How'd you get here anyway?" You ask Ireland as she blabs on about you and Kol's relationship extents. She chuckles at you, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Why Helena talks! I'm proud. Elijah carried me here." Ireland states, pushing her plate away that was coated with the salad dressing she had used

"And he didn't think to stay?" You question towards your most favourite friend in the whole wide world.

"Well he doesn't exactly eat humanity's finest dishes now does he?" 

"No but maybe I would've liked to say hello." Hayley grumbles, her arms crossing over her chest.

"He didn't want to ruin, his words and I quote 'the girl's big-day out gossiping about dresses and Kol.'" Ireland rolls her eyes in disgust, "Oh and bt-dubs, Hayley, Klaus isn't happy with you for taking his car."

"I'm not surprised by the way we left." You mutter, pushing the white plate from in front of you, Hayley's phone whistling.

"Well, Helena's dress has been made, you want a ride?" She offers Ireland and she nods in reply. Hayley and Ireland drop a few bills on the table and refuse to let you pay, dragging you out to the car, Ireland slips into the driver's seat, turning on the car with the keys she had pinched off Hayley, you had gotten use to Ireland's assumptions that she was allowed to do certain things, it was annoying but liveable with.

***

"Where to?" Ireland's hands grip the wheel, pulling off the wrong side of the street. "God dammit, why did America have to drive on the right side, why can't they just drive on the left like the rest of the frigging world?! Jesus fucking Christ." She complains, Hayley groans directions to Ireland.

“God dammit Ireland! Australia doesn’t count as the rest of the frigging world!” Hayley growls from the back seat, you’re sure that she’s going to pounce on Ireland and make her squeal and squirm under her grip but you also knew that Elijah would kill her if she even thought about such a thing.

Eventually the pair give up and they switch, Hayley coming to sit beside you, leading the car back to the proper route, nobody, not even you liked Ireland’s driving and Niklaus would probably kill you all if he found out Ireland had driven.

It only took you lot fifteen minutes to get back to the tiny shop in the East corner, collecting the dress with a few thank yous before departing yet again to stop off by the corner’s shopping centre, Hayley darting off with Ireland as they come back with a few bags, sliding them inside the boot of the car as Hayley starts up the car again and starts the return back to the Mikaelson residence.


	3. A limo ride too short.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rebekah gets you ready for your date and then the limo ride ends too shortly.

You place the long, purple dress on the bed, smoothing out the wrinkles. You lie back on the double bed, your eyes drooping close for just a second before another loud body comes into the room, proudly trotting herself into your bathroom, you follow the blonde-headed original, Rebekah with your eyes.

“UP.” She demands, snapping her fingers at you. “The time is now five in the evening and you have a date that I have to make you look perfect for.” You turn over, sliding off the bed before joining her in the bathroom, facing the mirror with a plain expression. Rebekah has set out various combs and sets and boxes of make-up, this must be a seriously fancy date if they’re putting this much effort, a new dress, and make-up, this could be interesting. 

Rebekah’s fingers twirl expertly in your hair, pinning it up to a nice fish-tailed braid that ran down your back then that’s when she turned you around on the chair that apparently swings around, she dabs lip-gloss, perfume and does your eyes, eyebrows. By the time she’s through with you, she gently blows a cloud of glitter on your cheeks, closing your eyes when she demands you do so.

She lets you look, you turn to the mirror and stop in your tracks, you hardly recognize yourself, you’re perfect, your eyes stand out, shining in the low light of the bathroom, you smile and your red lips part to give you an even more perfect smile, you’re perfect, in every single way. Rebekah helps you into your dress and you stare at yourself again as she kisses your temples with wide smile.

“HELENA. REBEKAH. ASSES DOWN HERE, SPIC AND SPAN, PRESENT AND PERKY.” Klaus’ voice breaks the moment of silence you and Rebekah were having, you slip down the staircase to see Kol standing in a suit, Elijah and Ireland waiting for you and Rebekah to join them.  
Ireland wiggles her eyebrows at you as Kol takes your hand and leads you out the house, into the waiting limo, you shoot him a confused look, and he presses a finger to his lips, holding the door of the limo open for you. You take a moment to look back at him as he joins you in the limo, knocking on the window between the driver’s compartments.

“You look extra perfect tonight Helena.” He murmurs gently, pressing his lips to your cheek gently, his arm trailing around your waist, bringing you pressed against his side, “Normally perfect… but more perfect… like an angel, mmm…” He chuckles, pulling back the loose strand of hair that Rebekah missed while the hair-spray was still in place, “I’ll show you how perfect and meaningful you are to me tonight…” And with that, the limo ride seemed to end way too short.


	4. Humanity's Finest Dishes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beautiful restaurant, beautiful vampire, eventful night.

The limo's darkness is lit up dimly as the driver pulls up to the restaurant. Kol has to pull you away from him to look upon your swollen, reddish lips, his smile turning into a wicked one. "Suppose we have to continue this later my dear." He whispers into your ear, fixing his suit then fixing your dress. He snakes out of the limo and he brings you right along with him.

You look upon this beautiful building, the white marble stairs proving to show off your black, glimmered flats and the deep purple dress, rose gardens greeted you everywhere you turned, white, red, even a dangerously sharp shade of orange. The building was old, probably over a hundred years old but the many windows where clean and you could see the golden tint they still had, shining the lights that came from inside. This must be real special if he's taking you to this place, it was beautiful. Kol has to hurry you along because you take such a time just to take in your surroundings.

“Reservation for Mikaelson.” Kol taps on the golden bell at the front service desk. As the waiter seats you down on the upper-floor, Kol is talking to him in an extremely hushed tone, making various hand gestures that you have to try and ignore the spiking curiosity. “So now that’s sorted.” He pulls your chair out for you and you can see the seats, made of gentle oak wood frames and the cushions made up of plush, red velvet. You sit down, making sure your dress doesn’t catch when he pushes you in gently, walking over to his seat which is just across from where you’re sitting. The table cloth is cream with a golden trim, the ‘M’ that Marcel and the Mikealsons stamp everywhere, just above the golden trim. You run your fingers over the table cloth and feel its softness, just as Kol slips a menu under your nose. 

“Can’t have you getting obsessed just over the table cloth now do we?” He grins, a bottle of your favourite wine getting set down in the bowl of ice to the left of you, you part the menu open, running your glance down it, Kol does the same, suppose he’d be eating something to fit in or make you more comfortable. The waiter, whose name you read as Andreas, came back, holding a pad and a black pen, trimmed in gold to match the table cloth and the menus.

“Mmm, for me, I’ll have Bruschetta on garlic sprinkled, toasted bread and for my main, I’ll get the Matelote, but instead of the rice as a side, I’ll change it to potato.” Kol smiles innocently up at Andreas as he scribbles down the order, then Kol looks at you with a small smirk before looking up at Andreas again, “Then for my lovely partner over here, can we get a Greek salad, the dressing separate please, then…” He looks to you again, his head tilting, the smirk not leaving his lips, “Stoverij… also sided with potato instead of rice.” Andreas nods before disappearing from the table, leaving you and Kol alone.

You glare at him and kick him under the table, which you’re sure hurts you more than it does him because he just laughs, resting his elbows on the table, his head tilting. “Is there a problem here Miss Helena?” You scowl at him and roll your eyes, how can you stay mad at that pretty face?

“I should start wearing my vervain again; stop you from getting inside my head.” Kol almost looks hurt; he’s clearly put it on because he cracks up his smile again once you cross your arms over your chest.

“You love me really.” He sneers; you unfold your arms and rest them on the table just as he has.

“Yeah, that’s the problem.” You try to keep the smile that is pushing to get out smothered so the angry look doesn’t disappear but it only takes another small head tilt from the original to get the smile to come out. “God damn you Kol.” You mutter as he presses his lips to your hand.

“Oh well, see, he’s blessed me because I got such a fine looking partner, huh?” He leans forward, clasping his hands together to rest his chin on them; you screw up your nose and shake your head.

“I’d like to disagree there and turn the tables.” You mutter, Andreas coming back with two plates, serving the correct plates to each end of the table. The original sitting across from you gives your waiter a flutter of the eyes resulting in Andreas taking the cream, golden trimmed napkin from your right side and gently placing it over your lap, you smile and nod him a small thank you before he leaves. “Well that was incredibly nice of you in some ways then incredibly mean in the next.”

“Ah, but you loved it darling, don’t say that you didn’t.” He chuckles, pulling the toasted bread apart in his fingers before carefully scooping up the Bruschetta onto the toast and taking a bite, you sigh in reply, there was no way you were going to win this argument. You gently take the small cup of dressing, carefully pouring the desired amount onto the green leaves, returning the cup to its place on the table before stabbing the fork to pick up the leafy greens, carefully placing the greens into your mouth.

***

You smile thankfully towards Kol, pushing the finished Stoverij-covered plate, folding the knife and fork into the centre to show that you were finished, Kol soon mimicking your actions with a small sigh, nodding at Andreas, holding up two fingers, the waiter nodding before your curiosity finally got the better of you, you gave him a frustrated sigh, raising your eyebrows up at him. “So are you going to tell me what this is all about or are you going to leave me wondering? I’ve been ignoring it for a while but now I want answers Mr Mikaelson.” You demand Kol just shakes his head, a small chuckle escaping his lip, great; you weren’t going to get an answer out of him. You sigh again and rest your elbows on the table, you knew better but maybe the lack of manners might spike Kol to tell you what was going on.

“Stay.” Kol spins up from his seat and you speak in protest, instantly removing your elbows from the table, going to stand up to meet him but he quickly and swiftly holds you down to your chair. “Now, now, do I need to compel my darhling? I really don’t want to.” His eyes go dewy, his hands holding yours to keep you in your seat; you give him a small whine in protest, he simply kisses your forehead before spinning off, into the kitchen, fiddling with his suit-jacket’s pockets.

You scowl in his general direction, rolling your eyes, the waiter coming around to clear your table swiftly, replacing the cutlery with dessert spoons and dessert forks and replacing your napkins while he was at it too. The clang of the plates and cutlery clearly heard as he disappears into the kitchen, just as Kol did.

It takes a few minutes but Kol comes back out of the kitchen, dusting off the white flour that probably got dusted onto his suit as he spoke to the chef. The Mikealsons pretty much owned this restaurant, you had heard of it but had never been here before, the food was fantastic and apparently it wasn’t over either, just as Kol sits back down in his seat, he clasps his hands and Andreas presents glorious looking, probably Belgium chocolate drizzled waffles, sided with strawberries and sliced bananas. You chuckle, covering your face with your hands, Andreas sliding one waffle onto each plate, the plate of strawberries and four other waffles sitting by the wine to the left.

“Kol... you idiot, you’re making me blush with all this effo-” You take your hands away from your face to be greeted with a shining silver ring, encrusted with an Azotic Topaz gem, your instant reaction is shock, a blush creeping onto your cheeks, Kol comes by your side as he bows down, still holding the ring, itching for your approval, you stare down at him, a huge smile coming across your features.

“So here it goes… hundreds and hundreds of years, I’ve seen woman after woman but none of them seemed right, then, finally you came along.” Kol’s lips switch up into a smile. “You… you were perfect, I knew the first moment I laid my eyes on you, all your perfections, I feel like I know you inside and out… over and under but that sparkle in those eyes of yours… that beautiful smile, the way you look in the mornings… I wouldn’t have it any other way; I would rip into a hundred bodies to protect just you…” Kol swallows, here it comes. “Helena… will you take me, Kol Mikaelson, to be your husband? Will you marry me?” You’re violently blinking to keep the make-up from running; you nod, finally able to speak up.

“Of course Kol, of course I will.” He seems to sigh in relief, as if he was expecting you to say no, how could you? Kol presses a gentle kiss to your left hand before sliding on the beautiful ring, he stands up and you join him, you fling yourself into his arms and hug him tightly before you hear a loud pop coming from the kitchen. What you see next, is not what you expected to ever see in your lifetime.


	5. Niklaus you look fabulous today.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What on Earth are you eyes seeing? God fucking dammit girls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I promised, a bit of crack to finish up.

Rebekah, Ireland and Hayley are prancing out of the kitchen, all wearing zebra stripped blouses, wearing pink cowboy hats and short pink-zebra striped shorts, all carrying bottles of champagne, they’re all either slightly drunk or completely lost it. “GIRLS, I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL RIP YOUR THROATS OUT.” Klaus’ voice ripples through giggles of the girls, he’s wearing a muscle shirt, matching the girls’ pieces and it surprises to see who comes out of the kitchen next, wearing matching clothing as Klaus, Elijah.

“ELIJAH?!” You exclaim, wildly, extremely confused at how quiet the restaurant had actually been until the party lot came by, the whole place was empty, Hayley and Ireland climb up onto a table that had the table cloth removed, this is quickly put a stop to by Elijah dragging a giggling Ireland off the table. 

“Oh believe me, I would rather my suit.” He sighs but can’t help smile down at the giggling Ireland in his arms, Kol’s arm has found your waist, placing another small kiss to your cheek. Rebekah has now taken Ireland’s place on the table, Hayley and Rebekah now dancing wildly on the table, you cringe as the table gives way and leaves the two girls wondering what happened on the ground.  
“Oh god…” You laugh, pressing the curve of your bridge against Kol’s shoulder, shaking your head. Eventually they all calm down and as they seat themselves at the elegant table next to yours and Kol’s, which they eventually join in anyway and everyone is munching on the Belgium chocolate waffles.

Kol gives them a sideways glance as they’re all talking amongst themselves and they get the message, the group of zebra printed vampires, werewolf and the single human departing from the restaurant that now seems eerily quiet without their gossip circle of constant chatter.  
Kol and you finally finish your chocolate covered waffles and sit there sipping your wine, as Kol checks the time on his phone, he gets up slowly and offers you his hand and you take it and get up from your seat, Kol pushing it in behind you, slowly dragging you around the marble halls, eventually leading into a huge ballroom. “Suppose… we have a wedding to practice for, therefore an excuse to make you dance.” He grins at you, his lips gently pressing against yours, spinning you into to press against his chest, his fingers lace through yours, another hand finding your waist, you sigh gently put place your free hand on his shoulder.

“Kol…” You start but you’re quickly shut up by the sound of classical music, flowing around you and the original in this beautiful ballroom.  
You two dance to the beautiful rhythmic music played by the strings, your eyes close gently as you allow the music’s beautiful, soothing tone of the various tunes playing together into a piece. Kol allows you to rest your head on his shoulder and you the same, both swaying in tune to this beautiful melody, just you and Kol, moving in rhythm together, you could stay like this forever.  
You barely notice the time when Kol mumbles into your ear gently about it being close to midnight, he pulls your sleepy being gently along, into the limo and this is when your memories flood back and you zip right back awake again with a wicked smirk. “Shall we go on?” He smirks, just as wickedly.

“Oh god, yes.” You reply and your lips join to him again.


End file.
